Some Relationships Simply Can’t Survive Sarcoidosis
Sarcoidosis changes everything in life, including relationships. Since being diagnosed, I find that people in my life fall into several categories.
First are those who know about my condition and have a healthy, satisfying relationship with me despite it. They include a precious few who occupy a special space in my heart. I will be eternally grateful for their support.
Next are those who know I have sarcoidosis, but choose to ignore or deny it. Nevertheless, I continue to have a relationship with them. This group mostly is composed of extended family members. I don’t feel these relationships are necessarily healthy or strong, but they continue to exist.
Early on in my sarcoidosis journey, I found myself explaining my condition to as many people as possible. I wasn’t seeking their pity, but rather longing for their understanding. I also hoped that those I cared about enough to share my diagnosis with would appreciate this effort. So, I spent much time explaining why plans are difficult to make and why they are often changed.
I quickly discovered, perhaps as one might expect, that life marches on despite my diagnosis. In some cases, I felt that others believed it was my job to keep up regardless of sarcoidosis, however unfair that might sound.
Perhaps category three was a result of this: I purposely stopped sharing my diagnosis with many others. In fact, I am now apprehensive about sharing my health information with anyone. When I do, I feel guarded or discouraged, given people’s prior reactions.
Finally, there are those with whom I have ended relationships. Over time, continuing some relationships is just too difficult. Apparently, some people just don’t do well with sarcoidosis.
Relationships can be difficult to maintain, even in the best of circumstances. Add sarcoidosis to the mix, and many simply crumble. It’s baffling when people close to me are unable or unwilling to grasp significant changes in my life. Undoubtedly, I was resentful about this at first, especially when it involved family members. However, the unexpected compassion of others has been encouraging, especially from those I didn’t know very well before my diagnosis.
Sarcoidosis has created countless adjustments, difficulties, and losses in my life. Yet, it’s the disappointment in relationships that has caused me the greatest heartbreak. Unfortunately, the best care plan doesn’t include a remedy for a heavy heart.
***
Note: Sarcoidosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Sarcoidosis News or its parent company, Bionews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to sarcoidosis.
About the Author
Comments
Laura
Hi, my name is Laura. I have pulmonary sarcoidosis and rheumatoid arthritis which together have caused Advanced Pulmonary Fibrosis. Your article is spot on. Thank you! It helps to know that somebody else feels the same way.
Albertha
Wow! Kate you are spot on.
I have no dairy sugar and gluten free food and so far keep off steroids by choice, im stage 2
Michelle Wint
This was so enlightening. You hit it on the nail on point!!!!! This is me 💯 percent👍🏾👍🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💥💥🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🙏🏾🙏🏾
Tammy Seymore
Yes this is me I had to break relations ships with my best friend of 21 years my god god sister of 42 years and the hurtful painful heartbreaking person I had to remove from my life was my husband and best friends of 21 years and many other so called friends sarcoidosis exposed fake friends and deceitful deeds of many and the doubters saying I was faking being sick because they can’t see the sarcoidosis on the inside and they no nothing about people told me I was pretending and it was all in my mind before my second diagnoses of Neuro Sarcoidosis which took 3 years to find while it was shutting my hearing memory speach and site gradually I lost my Job and then God exposed everyone to me that I needed to remove from my life and I did and I’m doing muck better now because of waking up my heart and mind and being strong enough to remove people out of my life that have no interest or compassion for my health or life God got me through it all my husband though I was dying for sure he began an affair after my diagnosis and began distancing himself from me isolating me providing me with alcohol daily to take with my medication openly being seen with his mistress waiting for me to die so he could cash in on my life insurance policy when I died but i prayed and took very aggressive medication that caused so much weight gain that I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror during the 2 year long treatment which finally put it to remission but by then the damages where done double personality were exposed my husband wasn’t happy I was get better and going to church and fasting and praying and reading my bible he than began mentally and physically neglecting me barely saying 3 words to me I moved my bedroom to upstairs because he said I was unattractive and he never wanted an overweight wife and I was burden now because had no income and couldn’t help with the bill or our business anymore the then he shut our accounts leaving me with no access to our money and finally after arguing about him shutting down my cards and accounts he attached me two days after I filament protective order on him and we have been apart 2 years I filed for divorce even though he said he didn’t want a divorce and now I’m waiting for my court date and he is trying to have the court deem me as crazy because of my illness but my testify in fme to destroy his motives so I am gusto wn again against him my life is so much brighter now even still I go back and forth in remission I’m doing so much better with out the negative people around me God replaced them with new people who love me Sarcoidosis and all 🙏🏽👆🏽💯I am Tammy Seymore Seymore life on Facebook Founder of The New 1 Billion souls saved by Jesus Christ Non denominational Christian Mission Hod Bless and stay strong
Yolande L Matthews
Hello Tammy,
I am Yolande',I have gone through many of the things you are facing. Family, friends,husband,and children.Not and easy plight.Yet with the help of G d and doctor's who will take the time to listen you will be fine. I was given such a doctor and he said I would have to be my own doctor. Make a medical journal with what you take. Write how you feel with and without the meds. Don't through away the book even if you feel you will never need it again. Keep the books. You might have to recall something to help yourself. Now we have this is common,sarcoidosis on the brain.the brainstem is the location of mine. Yes I was told it was all in my head they were not wrong! lol It is also on my spine. Love the woman you are. Be good to you,so others will too. Be good to others and learn. It is the best way to help yourself and others.