Invisible Chaos — Athena Merritt

We sat just a few feet apart, trying to figure each other out. He jotted down his clues, and watching him closely, I looked for mine. Given that fewer than 200,000 Americans have sarcoidosis, which qualifies it as a rare disease in the U.S., it wasn’t a mystery he often…

I know playing “what if” is a useless exercise when it comes to sarcoidosis. But during a four-day stint without cellphone coverage or internet access, I found myself doing it anyway.  This disease has many scary aspects, such as cardiac involvement, which I wrote about earlier this month. And…

Many call it “heart attack snow.” It’s heavy. It’s backbreaking. Last week, we went head-to-head. In “Terminator” terms, the snow was the advanced T-3000 cyborg. I was “Pops,” the old T-800 out to prove I wasn’t obsolete. I’m used to sarcoidosis putting me through the wringer emotionally. But fluffy…

My physician’s index finger slid across the X-ray, briefly stopping in areas to indicate the foreign presence in my lungs. I had pulmonary sarcoidosis. And for the next 14 years, I would have regular examinations for my pulmonary health without ever knowing that my heart could be at risk,…

Slowing down has always been hard for me. As a kid, I’d squirm out of my mom’s hugs telling her, “I gotta go play.”   While racing along, details often escape me. Which is why I overlooked the initial signs of my sarcoidosis. The pandemic has changed my…

The more visits I have with a physician, the harder it is to cut ties. Which is why, between breaths behind a face mask, I was relaying my complaint again. It was a loop I had been stuck in since summer. Driving to the appointment that December morning, I hoped…

I never liked group projects in school. Whenever one was announced, I’d groan and silently hope for the best. But the scenario always played out the same: slackers dumping the work on everyone else. I wanted to believe the pandemic would change behaviors. With the stakes so high, maybe everyone…

I usually set goals for the year when January arrives. Not this time. I’ve decided to take life as it comes. Instead of saddling myself with resolutions, I’m embarking on something new. January derives from the two-faced Roman god Janus, who viewed both the future and the past. Drawing…

If your holiday shopping is done, indulge in some goodies and rejoice. Hopefully, I’ll be joining you soon. After that, a year-end health checklist awaits. Many with sarcoidosis require ongoing treatment. When multiple physicians are involved, remembering everything that was prescribed is difficult. One last review before 2021 arrives could…

It usually takes me six months or longer to land an appointment with my neurologist. In October, I met virtually with him just a week after calling to schedule one. It was the same with other specialists: little to no wait time. But while this change benefits me, it may…

We’re 13 days from the start of winter. Try telling that to my body, which already has fallen into a seasonal slump.  My knees quit first. After seeing them get away with it, my other joints and muscles followed with a “why bother” attitude. So, my mental warfare to…

I used to stubbornly hang on to old ways of doing things. Sarcoidosis cured me of that. It’s why I wasn’t among the millions of Americans traveling for Thanksgiving. I won’t be at Christmas, either.  With COVID-19 cases spiking, forgoing get-togethers continues to be my new way of…